I don't know about you, but people's expectations of me play a huge part in my decision making. I mean, obviously God's expectations of me should be first and foremost. That is a given. However, sometimes I act in a way that displeases God so that I don't let others down. Or so that I can feel excepted. It's so important that we realize that people are not always right. Even family and friends that want to do God's will can and will be wrong sometimes. This being said, I just wanted to share with you a revelation that God so clearly gave to me at Bible study a couple of weeks ago.
We are going through Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart" in our womens group at church. We meet every Thursday night and even though I am not really great at getting the book done ( I know I should!), everytime I hear Beth Moore speak I get something out of it. God has surely blessed her with such a gift. Anyhow, I was not feeling well the week before last and had to leave the room because of lightheadedness, but I watched the video from our sound room and was getting a little bit here and there. There was one thing I heard loud and clear, it was as if God had put it right in there just for me. It's written on my heart now, it sounds off in my brain when I face certain subjects and honestly it's so simple and I will never be the same because of it.
We do not need to hold people accountable for their actions. That is God's job... Whew! I don't know about you, but that sets me free. WHEW! What a relief. That's a huge job, you know. I spent many days and nights stressing on how I was to do this. I felt it was my job not to let the things that have been done be forgotten. Like sure, I forgive you, but man look what you did! You can't move on, you need to dwell.
I can't tell you how many times I would stop myself from letting go because I just was unsure that it was the right thing to do. It is the right thing to do!
Now, I'm not saying that you should let someone step all over you, or that you should necessarily have that person in your life. I'm just saying simply that it isn't my job to hold someone accountable for their wrong doing, it is God's job.
I wanted to let go, but the reactions of the ones I love and that love me, weighed heavily on my decision. They mean well, they love me, they know I have been hurt. They want that person to hurt in the same way. That is just something that God will have to take care of. Although, I do not wish that hurt upon them. I just want to feel free of the whole thing. I'm FREE!
